on an adventure.

horcrux hunt 2012 part one.

So my trek to Sydney began with tearing up on a train while exchanging emails. I’m sure the lady sitting opposite me thought I was nuts, but I couldn’t help it. I waited at Clifton Hill station for 10 minutes until Karly showed up, and we drove back to her house, stopping for petrol and McDonalds on the way. That’s right, my vegetarian bestie made me break my new year’s resolutions in the first month of the year! I was doing so well, too. Oh well.

I’m not sure what we did when we got back to her house, but it involved me falling asleep in her bed with my cup of diet coke on the floor. Soft drink is always disgusting if you leave it anywhere for an extended period of time.

We were SO LATE in setting off the next morning. We were supposed to get up at 8, and leave at 8:30, but we both slept in, me more than Karly. It was also sweltering hot, which didn’t help any. After rushing to get ready we snuck some pavlova from the fridge and drove away at 10:30. 

The hours that followed were filled with lots of driving (SO MANY TREES AND FIELDS AND HILLS) and talking and eating and listening to music. We are the Queens of Google Maps and would check where we were so often that we’d have to alternate in charging our phones.  There were these pretty windmills on a hill somewhere along the way which I’m sure are significant and I should know about them, but I don’t :(

We stopped for iceblocks (yes, that’s what us Kiwis call them, not ICYPOLES) in some town before continuing on. We didn’t get to Anni & Joel’s house until around.. 8:30 I think. Once we got into Newtown (which is totally the Fitzroy of Sydney) we missed our turn off and got stuck trawling through a bunch of side streets.

Anni & Joel were lovely and made us vegetarian lasagne, which my poor stomach could only handle a little of, not being used to lentils and such things. And we watched Easy A before going out for cocktails. WHY HAVE I NOT HAD COCKTAILS BEFORE?! They are my new favourite thing. I got this one called a ‘Legless’ which was so pretty with liqueur around the rim like sea crystals or something. I think I enjoyed licking that off more than the actual drink itself :D I must have more. 

More tales soon

tall and tiny.

It is very easy to forgot how lucky you are when you’re consumed by feelings. Feelings of sadness, anger, regret, guilt, longing and confusion. You let all of it wash over you in a tidal wave which pins you down, swallowing you whole.

But the reality of life is sometimes things end. You may not want them to and it can hurt like hell and you can be stuck under a rock thinking you’ll never get over it. And don’t think it’s easier to forget because it isn’t. You should remember. Those things happened and you had times and memories and feelings and it was wonderful, and you’ll cherish it always. Never forget that it happened and you were there.

I am not weak, but strong. I was brave enough to love. To risk everything. And it was ever so worth it. And no matter what happens now, I’ll always be proud of us. We did great things, you and I.

I’m at the bottom of a very tall hill, and even though I know you cannot help me up, I hope you’ll be waiting on the other side.

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” -Dr Seuss.

strawberry lime.

Well, it has been a boring couple of days of being mopey and eating lots of pretzels. I wish I was at a Hottest 100 party, but instead I’m drinking strawberry lime cider at a bbq with my parents.

Karly’s picnic was lovely, with much more talking and photo-taking than eating. I had quite a few interesting conversations, one that included the sentence “Well, I’ve sawed a woman in half.” Snapped many a picture of Stewart, who looked like an Abercrombie model.

On Sunday I had many an intelligent conversation with my new friend. And the beginning of this week I’ve been lazing about because I haven’t had work, except for yesterday when I had to go enrol for tafe. I’m officially a librarian-in-training! That sounded cooler in my head…

Roadtrip begins at 3am tonight, so no sleep for us. I’m planning to bring my book light so I can read for some of the way. We’ll be crankin’ the tunes, yo.

See you in Sydney.

magic girl.

She was so happy, but ever so sad; pretending to be strong but deep down, so very weak and fragile. Merely a glimpse of him, even the tiniest glance, could send her toppling over the edge of the tallest tower, where she’d hidden in hope of feeling safe.

They tell her to smile and be happy for fucks sake but nothing is ever that easy, or we’d all be walking around grinning from ear to ear. Are you pleased? Do you feel good about yourself? You’ve only broken a little piece, but somehow, it feels so much bigger.

Hop along on your merry way, because there’s nothing left to do or say that won’t feel like a knife to the chest. And it’s best if she’s left to feel what needs to be felt because the cards have been dealt, and with the wrong hand… she’s struggling to stand and then she is falling, calling your name, but nothing will ever be the same again.

How do you know if you’re at the end, or still at the beginning? The magic flares inside her as she sinks into dreams that become nightmares, and what then? Awake and asleep, within all of me you creep, and nowhere is safe.

Nowhere.

home.

I think it’s been more than a week since I last blogged, but as all I was doing was watching Brothers & Sisters, I didn’t really want to bore you with my thoughts on the show, and the adorable Balthazar Getty.

I did go to Jared’s (@InflatableNerd) 21st drinks though, which were really nice. I wanted to get absolutely sloshed, but that didn’t happen. His girlfriend is so cool and I’m really glad I got to meet her. They are vomit-inducing coupley though. BLERGH.

Now I’m home and really wishing I wasn’t. It is nice to sleep in my own bed again, but holidays are fun in that you don’t really have much to worry about. Now that I’m back I’ve got all of this tafe stuff to sort out before the semester actually starts. That’s right, I GOT IN.

But with all the stress I’ve returned to, I also have all the fun. My best gal Karly (@hellokarlyy) is hosting a picnic tomorrow, which should be.. interesting. Quite a few of the people a) unfollowed me or b) never followed me back. Fun!

And then next weekend, roadtripping with the aforementioned gal to Sydney for the Harry Potter exhibition. Yes, we are giant nerds. Also Nikki, if you’re reading this, can’t wait to meet you and drink all of the vodka and become the best of friends!

Feb 2nd - Laura Marling. Need I say more?

I will definitely post a picnic recap either tomorrow or Sunday, so stay tuned for that.

sun sun sun, won’t you shine on me me me?

The last few days I have learnt that if you wait for something interesting to happen, it usually doesn’t. You have to go out and make your own fun. Find your own happy. Have your own adventures. Write your own story. Unfortunately, I’m lacking the desire to do so right now, so here I am, laying on the rug. Shall I recap?

On Monday I went to Twin Towns with Nanna for games. You have to get your number called (from the tickets you buy) to play the game. I’ve made it my mission to try the garlic bread wherever I go, and this one was surprisingly good. I washed it down with pink lemonade before my number was called.

The game I had to play involved bouncing ping pong balls to land in buckets. I have rubbish aim, so I only got one in. Luckily you get a prize just for playing, so I took home jelly beans and Lindt chocolate.

On Tuesday we went and saw ‘We Bought a Zoo’, which was excellent. I swear it sounded like Jónsi on the score, but I can’t be certain. I fell in love with Elle Fanning all over again. And I almost cried.

I made nachos for dinner. So good. I can’t get enough of them. It’s how I pretend I can cook. And then I escaped into the world of Brothers and Sisters, whose problems make mine seem small and insignificant.

And today we walked by the water and had fish and chips, which was nice. I failed at doing the easy Sudoku, ate ice cream and watched Skins. It’s weird; listening to the clock tick feels like I’m listening to my life tick away. That sounds really emo and dramatic even though it wasn’t meant to.

Just keep soldiering on, folks. I’ll get my smile back one day.

numbers and letters.

My day today is probably a waste of a blog post, as it was very dull, but this is part of my resolution so here goes.

I was woken up at the ungodly hour of six thirty to go to the market. For someone on holiday, anything before nine isn’t an hour one should be awake, but when you stay with nanna you must do as nanna does.

It wasn’t too bad actually; I got a copy of Jane Eyre (the 2011 film) that was probably pirated for $4, and a copy of Serenity for $2. Bargain! On the way home I discovered that Hungry Jacks has FROZEN BUBBLEGUM. Anyone who has heard me babble about how the frozen bubblegum Maccas had for one of the Ice Age movies was the best stuff ever will know how exciting this is for me.

The rest of the day was spent laying on the floor doing sudoku and watching The Bachelor, or whatever else happened to be on TV. Charmed was on for a bit. I want to go out and do THINGS to write about, but my nanna said “Why do we always have to be doing something?” so there goes that plan.

Until tomorrow.

by the river.

Man, I suck at this blogging thing! I completely forgot until just now that I’d forgotten to blog. Lucky I only missed one day this time.

My holiday has been quite relaxing so far. I’m staying with my Nanna in Tweed, just over the border into New South Wales. It’s practically Queensland. And because I’m staying with my Nanna, my first day (yesterday) involved going to the club for the raffles. It wasn’t actually that bad. I had A LOT of garlic bread, so I was content.

Afterwards I bought another pair of flower shoes for my collection, and some pyjamas as I forgot to bring mine. It seems 2012 is making me more forgetful, but I continue to be plagued by things I’d rather not remember.

Today I was supposed to be up early to go walking but getting up at 5:30 did not compute with my sleeping struggles as of late. When I did eventually get up we went to Tweed City Shopping Centre, which, like a lot of places up here, is a huge blast from the past. Many reading this won’t know, but I lived on the Gold Coast from 2000-2009.

I bought the book ‘Love is the Higher Law’ by David Levithan, which I’m looking forward to reading. Unfortunately there isn’t too much to do up here apart from going to beaches (which I hate) and theme parks (which I’ve been to too many times). It makes me glad we moved to Melbourne, ha. Ot gives me a chance to relax though, which I really need after the past few months.

Remind me not to read any more of my Nanna’s magazines though. I couldn’t care less about the royals or Suri’s tantrums. We just got back from a walk along the river which was lovely. As great as Melbourne is, the outer suburbs are not this scenic. At least not where I live.

I shall now leave you to your Saturday nights, which are hopefully more eventful than mine, as I curl up with chocolate, Lemon Lime & Bitters, and ‘Escape to the Country.’ Go on, judge me.

laaaaazy.

I’d like to say that I have a perfectly good reason for not blogging the last 2 days, but I really don’t. On Tuesday I had work, and then I went to a party with Karly so I didn’t really get a chance. I’d like to see you blog while French Horn Rebellion are putting on an insane light show. I didn’t wake up until 11:30 on Wednesday, and had to go into the city to meet someone, and by the time I finally got home I was so tired from lack of sleep the night before that I could not be bothered blogging.

It hasn’t even been a week and I’m already slacking on my main new year’s resolutions. That’s why resolutions suck. I feel compelled to make some though because otherwise I’ll just slack around, being unmotivated for the year. I know blogging isn’t exactly the height of motivation, considering that I’m laying on my bed typing this, but pushing myself to write something will hopefully inspire me to write creatively again, and I’ll also have this blog to look back on as a memory of 2012.

I am leaving for the Gold Coast tonight, so hopefully I have some exciting adventures up there to write about. I’ll see you on the other side.

hot hot hot.

It is HOT. Whenever I say that in my head, my mind always jumps to the scene at the beginning of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (the film) when the newscaster on the TV says that. David Yates made that summer in Little Whinging look like the hottest place on Earth.

Do you know what the worst place to be working is when it’s 40 degrees and a public holiday? I’m not sure exactly, but McDonalds in a food court has got to be up there. From 3pm onwards every second order was 3 cones or 2 cones or 4 cones and I really wish I had a better job. I only stay there because of the flexibility with hours when I want to study.

I promise these posts will get more interesting once I actually start doing things again. I’m going to the Gold Coast on Thursday, and I can’t wait. It’ll be so good to get away. And when I get back there’s plenty to look forward to, like Karly’s picnic, road-tripping with her to Sydney for the Harry Potter exhibition, Laura Marling, and starting my course.

But for now, I’m watching Winners and Losers and trying desperately to stay cool. I’ll try not to run into any Dementors.